Caveat Emptor

00 trek warning copy.jpg, originally uploaded by macslost.

"Hey! let's go this way!"

Yet another Bad Idea Jeans moment. Alf's got the full scoop.

A Hunka-Hunka Burnin' Casino

So the Monte Carlo burst into flames today. Mostly the roof & exterior, but it's the worst Vegas fire in 27 years!

RAAAAAAAAAAMBO!!!!!

Work, meet .50 caliber awesomeness.



I'm out!!!

Will update with details of awesomeness later.

OOOOOOOOKAY. This movie is ridiculous. There is much cajoling to be had. A beautiful DVD adventure to be sure.

I imagine some of the production conversations to sound something like this:

"Eeeeyo, so then we shoot them in half with a machine gun and blood sprays everywhere."

"Um, Mr. Stallone, we don't have squibs that big."

"Eeeeeyo, so we'll use CGI to spray filthy pedophiliac/ rapist/ murdering-scum/ Burmese blood everywhere. And to cut Christian missionaries in half."

"Perfect. I smell as Oscar."

And we smell other things. This is one of those films where they planned out a ridiculous gun battle (where no one even moves from their starting point), finished with 20 minutes of footage and then tried to plot a story around the gun battle. In the end: Main 'victim' is an ass, main 'chick' is useless, 'mercenaries' are retards and Rambo wears a muumuu/shirt. HOWEVER. There is some wicked violence in it, so in the end, it makes a great DVD watch. Just don't spend actual theater-money on it.

Video Game Round-up!!

After spending so many months setting up a new business, there was a BUNCH of stuff I had to get caught up in the video-game world. Once the holidays finished, I basically plopped down in my comfy chair, dropped a disc in, and didn't leave my chair for 2 days, 4 weekends in a row.

Weekend #1: Uncharted for the PS3. Kick ASS action game. Kinda like Tomb Raider, only with an actual plot and not quite so many ridiculous puzzles to solve. Plus you get to hide behind things while shooting people in the face with a shotgun, with is pretty awesome. Also, VERY pretty game.



Weekend #2: The Darkness. You're a retard gangster with some weird snake powers and you have to take the subway a LOT to finish the game. Not recommended.



Weekend #3: Lost Planet. Pretty fun, but 2 annoying things. #1: It's really short. #2: You have to constantly replenish your 'warmth' or you die. Feh. But one of the cool parts is that you get to slide around in ED-209 suits shooting things with huge gatling gun arms or rocket launchers, which is pretty sweet.



Weekend #4: Bioshock. Next best game after Uncharted. GREAT environment, a fun story, not too ridiculous in the puzzle department and you get to have powers like electro-shock, pyrokinesis, telekineses, ummm, summoning squirrels, mini-tornadoes, uh, there were others. And you get to shoot a lot of things, which is my #1 reason for buying anything. If I can't shoot something it the face, I don't want to play.



However, now that I'm done with these, I am not allowed to buy anymore games until I lose 10 pounds. Otherwise, I will NOT go exercise. "Just oooone more level". 3 hours later and whoops!

So Call of Duty 4 will have to wait.

For now....

Rain, rain, go away...

Don't get me wrong, I love the rain. I think it's fantastic. But man, I just CAN'T get anything done anymore when it rains. Especially in L.A.

In Seattle, usually when it rained, it was just an overcast sky and a constant drizzle. In L.A. it's a downpour. To the extent that there are rivers in the streets, freeways shut down and, from time to time, a water spout (or, tornado) will rip the roof off of a naval base.

Anyway, hearing the rain on the roof just makes me want to curl up and watch TV, play video games or read. Or, um, blog.

Anyway, last night we went and saw Wicked and had to walk a good 4 blocks in the rain (wuss, I know, whatever, not the point.) And we used umbrellas. We never would have used umbrellas in Seattle. Didn't actually even OWN umbrellas in Seattle. Whatever. The seats at the Pantages are made for Munchkins and to be crammed in there and ALSO wet was not an option.

Speaking of Wicked...



As a not-fan of musicals, I actually wanted to see this one. And...it wasn't bad! Pretty good actually. I enjoyed it for the most part but there was something that stabbed me in the eye during the second half. However, after a little research, it turned out not to be a stab in the eye as much as yet ANOTHER nail in George Lucas' coffin.

"Wait, what's that you say? WTF does George Lucas have to do with Wicked?"

* * SPOILER ALERT * *

If you haven't read the book or seen the play and actually intend to, you can skip the rest of this, but if you couldn't care LESS:

The Wicked Witch of the West created The Tin Man and The Scarecrow and released the Cowardly Lion into the wild as a cub.

Says George, "HM! That's great! I think I'll have Darth Vader create C3-PO! And have sex with a Wookie to create Ewoks. Maybe molest an Octopus and create Admiral Akbar...oh-ho-ho. Who, there Georgie let's not make it TOO unbelievable."

The Future Is Now! (almost)

So, according to Cyberdyne, er, The University of Washington (my alma mater, who I couldn't care less about until NOW) has developed microscopic circuitry that can be inserted into contact lenses to give you on-screen readouts or cross-hairs or whatever!!! Like The Terminator or Bionic Man! So freakin' RAWK. Laser-vision....so.....close....




Please note, no normal humans are being harmed during the testing. Just albinos.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger, Brad Renfro & TBD

I'm not sure how the reaction was outside of the entertainment industry, but when Heath Ledger died on Tuesday, it was like the shot heard round the world. I was a fan of most of his work. He got a quick start, hit a hull and came back with a vengeance in the last few years. I am super psyched to see his take on The Joker in this summer's The Dark Knight. His sudden death reminds me a lot of River Phoenix, who keeled over right after his awesome turn as young Indiana Jones in the The Last Crusade.



Not nearly as surprising, but just as unfortunate was last week's passing of Brad Renfro, at age 25. He'd had trouble with drugs for a while so it wasn't as surprising as Heath, but still a loss. He'd had a huge start with The Client, Sleepers and Bryan Singer's Apt Pupil, but then his films pretty much dropped off of the radar, including the brilliant little film 'Bully'.



No, I'm not writing obituaries for these guys. Their passing was tragic and all that, but the point of this little post is a warning notice for young celeb #3 that will inevitably pass between now and, mm, Valentine's Day. Someone along the lines of, say, Balthazar Getty. Or the lead singer of Silverchair. Something like that.

You don't believe me?

Let's look at some past clusters of celebrity deaths:

12/16 Dan Fogelburg
12/12 Ike Turner
11/30 Evel Knievel


11/10 Norman Mailer
11/30 Robert Goulet
10/18 Joey Bishop


9/23 Marcel Marceau
9/5 Luciano Pavarati
8/20 Leona Helmsley


8/12 Merv Griffin
7/30 Tom Snyder
7/30 Ingmar Bergman


7/21 Tammy Faye Bakker
6/29 Joel Siegel
6/27 Liz Claiborne


5/27 Charles Nelson Reilly
5/15 Jerry Fallwell
5/1 Tom Poston


4/26 Jack Valenti
4/23 Boris Yeltsin
4/11 Kurt Vonnegut

The only freakish death without company last year was Anna Nicole Smith. So anyway, just by comparing celebrity deaths we should have another young one coming up shortly. Hey kids, maybe we all lay off the drugs or strenuous physical/mental activities for a few weeks, whaddayasay?

OSCARS 2008!!!

OK! So they announced the Oscars on Tuesday morning and I got all excited and then madness ensued and now I am blogging everything from this week today. (by madness, I mean laziness. And rain-induced sluggishness, to be explained in another post.)

Anyway, nothing TOO surprising in here...wait, excuse me? Is that a typo? Surely they...no. You did NOT. NOT!!! @&%#$@

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: ACADEMY AWARD NOMINEE NORBIT.

You @&%#$@ read that right. NORBIT.

Then again, (and I won't post the photo in here) the fat suit was disgustingly realistic. (shudder)

Anyway! WGA went back into informal negotiations this week, so hopefully part of the negotiations will include letting the Academy Awards actually take place.

It would suck if we couldn't have our 5-TV indoor/outdoor, Funch-fueled, theme fooded, cash-betting, prize-filled Oscar party.

Best Picture: "Atonement," "Juno," "Michael Clayton," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

Actor: George Clooney, "Michael Clayton"; Daniel Day-Lewis, "There Will Be Blood"; Johnny Depp, "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street"; Tommy Lee Jones, "In the Valley of Elah"; Viggo Mortensen, "Eastern Promises."

Actress: Cate Blanchett, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age"; Julie Christie, "Away From Her"; Marion Cotillard, "La Vie en Rose"; Laura Linney, "The Savages"; Ellen Page, "Juno."

Supporting Actor: Casey Affleck, "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford"; Javier Bardem, "No Country for Old Men"; Hal Holbrook, "Into the Wild"; Philip Seymour Hoffman, "Charlie Wilson's War"; Tom Wilkinson, "Michael Clayton."

Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett, "I'm Not There"; Ruby Dee, "American Gangster"; Saoirse Ronan, "Atonement"; Amy Ryan, "Gone Baby Gone"; Tilda Swinton, "Michael Clayton."

Director: Julian Schnabel, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Jason Reitman, "Juno"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

Foreign Film: "Beaufort," Israel; "The Counterfeiters," Austria; "Katyn," Poland; "Mongol," Kazakhstan; "12," Russia.

Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton, "Atonement"; Sarah Polley, "Away from Her"; Ronald Harwood, "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly"; Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, "No Country for Old Men"; Paul Thomas Anderson, "There Will Be Blood."

Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody, "Juno"; Nancy Oliver, "Lars and the Real Girl"; Tony Gilroy, "Michael Clayton"; Brad Bird, Jan Pinkava and Jim Capobianco, "Ratatouille"; Tamara Jenkins, "The Savages."

Animated Feature Film: "Persepolis"; "Ratatouille"; "Surf's Up."

Art Direction: "American Gangster," "Atonement," "The Golden Compass," "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street," "There Will Be Blood."

Cinematography: "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford," "Atonement," "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

Sound Mixing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "No Country for Old Men," "Ratatouille," "3:10 to Yuma," "Transformers."

Sound Editing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "No Country for Old Men," "Ratatouille," "There Will Be Blood," "Transformers."

Original Score: "Atonement," Dario Marianelli; "The Kite Runner," Alberto Iglesias; "Michael Clayton," James Newton Howard; "Ratatouille," Michael Giacchino; "3:10 to Yuma," Marco Beltrami.

Original Song: "Falling Slowly" from "Once," Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova; "Happy Working Song" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "Raise It Up" from "August Rush," Nominees to be determined; "So Close" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz; "That's How You Know" from "Enchanted," Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz.

Costume: "Across the Universe," "Atonement," "Elizabeth: The Golden Age," "La Vie en Rose," "Sweeney Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street."

Documentary Feature: "No End in Sight," "Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience," "Sicko," "Taxi to the Dark Side," "War/Dance."

Documentary (short subject): "Freeheld," "La Corona (The Crown)," "Salim Baba," "Sari's Mother."

Film Editing: "The Bourne Ultimatum," "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly," "Into the Wild," "No Country for Old Men," "There Will Be Blood."

Makeup: "La Vie en Rose," "Norbit," "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End."

Animated Short Film: "I Met the Walrus," "Madame Tutli-Putli," "Meme Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)," "My Love (Moya Lyubov)," "Peter & the Wolf."

Live Action Short Film: "At Night," "Il Supplente (The Substitute)," "Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)," "Tanghi Argentini," "The Tonto Woman."

Visual Effects: "The Golden Compass," "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End," "Transformers."

Super-sweet!!

Bionic Commando gets an upgrade!!! What's next?! Excitebike? Blaster Master? Kid Icarus? I'm IN.

It's Official: Everyone Hates Clowns

Where did it all go wrong? One day it was all fun & games, the next: universal hatred. Is Stephen King to blame? Did 'IT' ruin clowns for everyone forever? A British study of 250 kids was held where they asked if the children liked clown decor in the hospital. Verdict? NOT ONE KID liked them. And older kids actually found them scary. Then again, wouldn't this bother you?

Password RAGE!!!!!

Password Rage

I nearly tossed my computer through the window this morning, I was so fucking angry. Why? Because for some reason my Yahoo account was not matching with my Flickr account. Example:

LOGIN NOW WITH YOUR YAHOO ACCOUNT
Crap, it erased my ID & password. Pretty sure I remember it, though.....user ID.....password...enter.
GREAT! NOW START A NEW FLICKR ACCOUNT OR MERGE WITH AN EXISTING!
Huh? I already have a Flickr account. I don't need to start a new one. I'll try 'Merge'.
ENTER YOUR FLICKR USER ID & PASSWORD
Right, and this is different, because it's the e-mail address....OK...password.
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
@&$%. I'll try a different password.
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
Grrrrr. OK, I'll try this one.
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
@&%! Fine, last shot.
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
Dammit!!!!! Whatever. Remind me of my password.
THAT ACCOUNT IS ATTACHED TO A YAHOO ID
Right, I know. Now show me my photos.
PLEASE ENTER THE E-MAIL INFORMATION ATTACHED TO THIS ACCOUNT.
Fine
THERE IS NO ACCOUNT WITH THAT E-MAIL
@&%$&@^@%@@@ Yes there IS!!!!!
LOGIN NOW WITH YOUR YAHOO ACCOUNT
@&^$%@&!!! ID.....password...enter.
GREAT! NOW START A NEW FLICKR ACCOUNT OR MERGE WITH AN EXISTING!
I already have a Flickr account, you @*&%$!!!!!!!! I don't need to start a new one!!!!
ENTER YOUR FLICKR USER ID & PASSWORD
ID! Password!
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
&!^@^$%@$!$@^@!^!!^*@*&@%!$!^!!!!!!
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
Die you @*&@^$%@&@@, Die!!!!!
THAT DOES NOT MATCH UP, PLEASE TRY AGAIN
@*@&^&%@!%@$@^*$($^&@$%!&!(@&@%$*!(!@^&@%*!*@^!*(&@*@(@&

(pant, pant, pant)

Maybe I'll add some numbers to my Yahoo ID.
WELCOME TO FLICKR
@&^$&@

I think our generation and up got screwed on this whole computer/password thing. See one day we didn't have it at all and the next it was "Quick! Choose a 4-digit password" Um, OK. Then it was 6-digit, then you changed e-mail addresses and your user ID was no longer available. Then it was 8-digit and you're 4 User IDs later with numbers and crap on them. And I KNOW that the original 'macslost' IDs at Yahoo and AOL are mine, but NO, I don't know what @&%@& e-mail is attached it, so I can't get them back. Even if I did know, they are dead and I can't get to them anyway.

I want so badly to write them all down in a document...but yeah. That would be bad. There's just so, so, so , so many of them....

I miss those trips to Sears as a child...

A Good Toilet Read

Maxim is pretty much made to never leave the bathroom. Or college. That said, they've got some entertaining lists that they post to the website from time to time. Here's 3 recent ones that I thought were pretty rad. (Please don't take your laptop to the bathroom.)

10 Badass Moments From the Wussiest Characters

The Unsung Heroes of Star Wars

The Lamest Actors To Have Action Figures

Cloverfield. See it.

Unless you get seasick/car sick/motion sick. Shaky-cam? More like 10.5 Richter-cam.

Other than that? Awesomeness. I ain't spoilin' nothin'.

And yes, you get to see 'it'.

Craigslist is awesome.

Things that suck Part 17

No, there was no part 1-16 (not proper, anyway) and the reason you have a picture of a freakish vacuum cleaner here is that when you Google images of things that suck, you get a lot of images that maybe children such as yourselves don't need to be seeing unintentionally. You already know where to find them, anyway. Probably have a whole separate hard-drive dedicated to it. With a back-up.

So! This is a mish-mash of material that's in here for a variety of reasons, so, in no particular order, we shall list them.

1. New Year's Eve. I do not REMEMBER the last 'AMAZING' New Year's Eve I had. Something unimaginably horrible or same-ole, same-ole has occurred each and every year. What's incredibly frustrating about this is that any other night of the year, I don't care if it's a Tuesday in the middle of September, I can hang with more friends and get way more drunk and all-in-all have a great night out. However, we seem to have a 2-friend limit when it comes to NYE. I can't name a single one where I've actually been able to hang out with more then 2 friends (I am counting couples as '1' so technically, there could be up to 4). What is with that?! And not that we didn't have a perfectly enjoyable NYE this year with 2 separate couples, but really. WHERE DOES EVERYONE DISAPPEAR TO? Whatever. Next year I think I'll go snowboarding in Vermont. And if you ever want to hear about the horror stories, I've got pretty good ones involving a friend's break-up that had me falling down stairs as well as the worst high-end party in the Space Needle EVER.

2. The WGA strike. To be honest, yes, the writers are getting the shaft. They deserve more money. They have stepped up in the wake of reality TV and have delivered a million kick-ass TV shows that have resulted in hundreds of lovingly wasted hours over the last 7 years or so. But the tolls have started taking effect. Cool shows canceled, whole seasons cut short, the Golden Globes were just canceled, which while kinda lame, were always fun to get drunk and watch the drunk recipients. Our kick-ass Oscar party will most likely be postponed, but I hope it will still air at some point, because we really look forward to throwing this party. Of course postponement means it'll be warmer outside for outdoor viewing, so that's cool with me. But what's really scary: movies going into production that CAN'T REWRITE WHILE SHOOTING. Good GOD there's gonna be some bad shit as a result of this. This is all my own personal selfishness here, though. The real tragedy is all the people out of work. It isn't JUST the writers who are affected. Because shows are shut down, EVERYONE is out of work. And I'm not going to count actors and directors because their guilds are up for renegotiations/strikes in the next year as well. I talking about my FRIENDS who don't get nickel #1 out of this. The sound & lighting folks, management, production staff, etc. Ain't no love for them. There's probably close to 100,000 people out of work in LA right now because of this, with no end in sight.

3. Speaking of shitty movies, let me go on a small rant about sequels. If there's a story to tell, tell it. If there are 3 stories to tell, LOSE 2, or at least 1 1/2. If you just feel like nothing's been out there a while and you think people want it, they probably DON'T. There's some non-suck in here, I just wanted to make a complete list.

Spider-Man 3 - TOO MUCH. Too much suck, really. And so much could have been easily averted.

28 Weeks Later - Still a story to tell. And done WELL.

Shrek The Third - Beating a horse's skeleton at this point.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - WAY too much talking. All the action was in #2 and the last 20 minutes of this one.

Day Watch - Frickin' SWEET.

Hostel 2 - Actually amusing. Cool twist ending. SIDE NOTE: To every one out there complaining that 'new horror' is all about torturing and killing young girls, you CLEARLY haven't been watching them all. I'm pretty sure that 99% of the hero/survivors of the past decade's worth of horror flick have been chicks. So clearly the villains are pissed and just trying to get revenge. Nothing personal.

Ocean's 13 - OK, you all have fun playing together, I get it. it was fun, but yer done.

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer - I have yet to stay awake through this. Director didn't listen to ONE complaint from fans after the first one and continued to butcher it.

Evan Almighty - This one gets a pass. Granted, it should have nothing to do with Bruce Almighty, but it was cute enough for a harmless family flick.

Live Free or Die Hard - I'll admit, I liked it. Ridiculous action! Not your typical beat-down McClane, which was a shame, but it was a fun action flick. The Unrated director's cut has some interesting changes in the action & dialogue.

The Bourne Ultimatum - Effin' RAWK.

Rush Hour 3 - NO! NO NO NO NO NO. I hate you Brett Ratner, to my CORE. You are, in fact, the Devil. Paul W.S. Anderson doesn't even make movies this bad. You are 1 shitty video game remake away from being Uwe Boll, sir. Prick.

Mr. Bean's Holiday - I was a big Mr. Bean fan! In 1993. Too far gone, m'dears. Now where's my Spud McKenzie movie? (this rule also applies to Jackie Chan. You're old, retire.)

Resident Evil: Extinction - Honestly not that bad. Not great, but on par with #2. 1 is still the better of them.

Saw IV - Actually didn't see it. Which is odd, since I've seen them all in the theater before.

National Treasure 2 - NO! See 'Rush Hour 3' for more details. Replace Ratner with Turteltaub. I'm pretty sure this movie was done before the writer's strike, so again, SHAME. SHAME, SHAME, SHAME. They take short cuts worse than CSI: Miami. I think part of the fun of the puzzle/treasure movies is them ACTUALLY HAVING TO FIGURE OUT THE PUZZLE. Not just some know-it-all who just immediately knows the answer just because. See: Da Vinci Code. (also has bad hair - a trend?)

Aliens vs. Predator 2 - Didn't see it yet, but hear it's SHITE.

Don't worry, I'll do a list of the movies I DID enjoy after this one at some point.

(I initially started this post to rant about Rush Hour and National Treasure, both of which put murder in my heart, but then I remembered Spider-Man 3 and Fantastic 4 and decided to make a full list.)


REVENGE UPON THE
THINGS THAT SUCK
(or "There is a God")




1. The Crocodile Cafe. I think I wrote about this back in October, but when I lived in Seattle I had a bar. A place where everybody knew my name. Seriously, it was like Cheers or that lame coffee shop in Friends. We all went there, all the time. And it was a COOL place. Kick-ass bands came to play there, we had our own table, the waitress (Diane) always had my drink on the table before we even got settled. It was that kind of awesomeness. We always got in for free and saw tons of people we knew every time we went. For me, this was my high school/college years. None of my school years stuck with me, this was my big social experiment. Anyway, as the years went by the place went in decline and we eventually moved to LA. Last October we were back for a wedding and decided to pop in for a drink for old-time sakes. That...was a mistake. It was creepy. Imagine you grew up in the 50's, were a greaser and hung out at some kick-ass diner all the time. Then imagine hanging out at Johnny Rockets. With the people that eat at Johnny Rockets now. Just a cold shell clinging to what someone thought it should be. Granted, it didn't help that you can't smoke indoors in Seattle anymore so the place didn't smell right, but the crowd were all lame GAP costumes and it just, well, sucked. You really, really, really can't go home again. It happened to Santa Barabara and it's happened to Seattle. Those things are gone, kids! And in the Croc's case, literally. On December 16th, The Crocodile Cafe closed it's doors suddenly and unexpectedly. They even had weeks of shows booked. But, in effect, it's dead. This is one of those things that's kind of like Old Yeller. I'm sad he's gone, but the fucker was rabid, yo.

2. And on THAT note. The world of movie ads has been dealt a CRIPPLING blow this week. WHERE, I ask WHERE will the new Uwe Bolle movie Dungeon Siege get a quote for their advertising stating that it's "The greatest sword & sorcerer adventure since Lord of the Rings" or how will the new "comedy spoof" Meet The Spartans hock their wares without the public knowing that "You'll split your sides laughing at this most amazing spoof comedy EVER!!!" At this point, most of you are probably staring blankly at this and wondering WTF I'm talking about. Well, kids, I'm about to tell you.

Pete Hammond has been fired from Maxim.

You ask yourself "So? I don't even read that crap." To which I say, "Yes, that's fine, you didn't NEED to read it."

Have you ever noticed, when you're watching a commercial for a movie on TV for something like Jim Carrey's 'thriller' The Number 23, which, as an intelligent human being with all their teeth and little-to-no inbreeding, you realize is utter shit, and yet somehow there's a quote that says "This movie is a must-see"? That's probably Pete Hammond. He's what most people like to call a Quote Whore, which is someone who will say ANYTHING to get their name in print or TV. Anyway, he's been fired. Praise baby Jesus!! 2008 is truly a year of change.

Christmas!

Damn! It seems like this was weeks ago!! Well, technically it WAS 'weeks' ago. You only need 2 to be plural, right?



Anyway, we got a pretty fluffy-snow white Christmas in Denver this year, but everything seemed really rushed. We had a Christmas in Santa Barbara, another at our place, we didn't exchange our gifts until the Saturday after and I think there was another one in there somewhere. AAAAAANYWAY.

There was much swag to be had this year, but in 2 very distinct assortments. Last year I got a wide variety of things, this year could be boiled down into books and knick-knacks, with a few random items outside of them, namely some slip-on chucks (lately tying my shoes has become something of a pet peeve; I've turned into a petulant child and it's too cold for flip-flops) and some quality drinking glasses (no, not sippy-cups, some of those kick-ass square buckets for real drinking.) Speaking of drinking, I totally forgot! Add a 3rd category of gifts! I got a bottle of Glenlivet, Corzo tequila Anejo, Puerto Vallarta tequila, Don Julio tequila AND a bottle of Patron Silver. Anyone up for a Tequila party? This ain't no Margarita stuff, either! Top-shelf! (and as I type this I am drinking the Livet straight out of a glass. Baby's all growsed up)

On the book front, I scored a variety of cool things like Force in the Flesh, which, while it sounds like a How-To rape guide, is actually a coffee-table book of crazy-ass Star Wars tattoos. Some really intricate stuff. I also got the Star Wars pop-up book, which is truly something to behold. It has full-page pop-up of the Rancor eating a Gamorrean Guard while lovingly ignoring the prequels. I also got a guide to the history of Tintin, which I read as a small German child, long before I got my hands on things like the X-Men and Spider-Man. All cool stuff.

Once of the prizes of the day was a special plastic package ripper-opener, which, ironically, came inside of a hard-to-open plastic container.



All in all, Christmas was nice, even though we didn't get to enjoy it to the fullest with all the mad-dash rushing around all over the place. Then again, there's a hell of a lot less to clean up.

But now it's over and gone and we have all of 2008 to look forward to.

Put your foreign language skills to work!

As much of a Mac fan as I am, this is pretty funny:

Bill Gates' Last Day

Posted Yesterday

Bill Gates enlists the help of a gaggle of stars (including Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Brian Williams, Matthew McConaughey, George Clooney, Bono, Steven Spielberg and Jay-Z) in order to figure out what do to in his post-retirement life.

CRIPES!!

December 10th?! That was my last post? WTF happened to me?

To be perfectly honest, I can't remember. It was a hasty blur of hurry up & shop, hurry up and wrap things up, hurry up and travel, hurry up and relax, hurry up and cram some more relaxing in, etc. Binge-relaxing, basically. How many DVDs, video games and comics can I cram down my gullet before I have to get back into the swing of things?

Ugh! Well that's not cool! I will make some updates to Mr. Blog tonight. I'll make a list of THEENGS.

Including my "Things I want to see in 2008" list. And maybe a 2007 "Worst of" list. Or more specifically, "Biggest Disappointments on 2007." Nah, it wasn't that much of a disappointing year. Sadly, I didn't do much for 6 months except work, so I haven't had all that much to write about. Nice thing is all the movies I missed are coming out on DVD right now.

So...a list! I shall make a list....somewhere...