Hipster mullets

Ok. We're at TV on the Radio show and I have a question. Since when did cutting your own hair in the dark and sporting the sideways rat tail or half your bangs become cool?

Maybe I'm just getting old.

Wait. These people are MY age.

Sigh.

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My new office (in Hawaii)

Why BlackBerrys Are Awesome

by Mac McLean

Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

(NOTE: The photo was NOT sent via e-mail, since Blogger doesn't host pictures. But the text was.)

G.I. Joe: The Complete Draft

I posted a few weeks ago that Lorenzo Di Bonaventura will be producing a G.I. Joe film following this summer's Transformers film (he also produced Constantine, Four Brothers and Doom). He is eying Mark Wahlberg for the role of Duke, but where else would he go from there? Someone asked in a post, so I figured I could take the time to try and guess. Considering budget limitations, I decided not to make a 'Dream Cast' list, but a realistic one, though, some of these people could be replaced out with more obscure actors who's names I don't know or couldn't recall without seeing them in something. And some probably wouldn't make a cameo as a 3rd-tier villain or hero, but they seemed to fit.

I ran these over a week, and now they are clogging up my main page, making things hard to find, so I collected them all into one post. Let's move on.

CORE JOES:



DUKE: Mark Wahlberg (Shooter, The Italian Job). He's already been mentioned and can hold himself in an action flick, so I think it would work.



HAWK: Alec Baldwin (Pearl Harbor, GlenGarry Glenn Ross). Hawk was never really a big part, more of a middleman between the Pentagon and the Joes. A good cameo would hold this one fine.



SNAKE EYES: Ray Park (Star Wars Ep. 1, X-Men). Snake Eyes was a mute ninja who always wore a mask because his face was burned off. Ray Park would fit this role perfectly. Plus he'll have to face off against Storm Shadow in the film's finale. (Ray Park was Darth Maul & Toad, for those who didn't know)



SCARLETT: Jennifer Garner ('Alias', Daredevil) Scarlett is the head ass-kicker after Snake Eyes and the core of the team with Snake Eyes and Duke, so it would be handy for a big name talent who can be part of a good combat segment before she gets her ass eventually handed to her by Storm Shadow and hence pissing off Snake Eyes for a battle supreme.



FLINT: Kyle Chandler (King Kong, 'Friday Night Lights'). He also played the bomb-disposal bad-ass in Grey's Anatomy, so I think he would be perfect as the no-nonsense 3rd in command (after Hawk & Duke).



FALCON: Adrian Pasdar (Near Dark, 'Heroes'). At the behest of the wife, Adrian Pasdar needed to be added to the cast. So he gets the Don Johnson treatment as Falcon.

COMEDY RELIEF JOES:



ROCK 'N' ROLL: Steve Zahn (Sahara, Joy Ride). Since this guys was basically replaced by Roadblock, having a machine-gun obsessed character itching to blow holes in things because he never gets to go on missions is some good comedy. Like Tackleberry in the Police Academy flicks.



CLUTCH: Jeremy Piven (Smokin' Aces, 'Entourage'). The Piv gets an appearance as the Joe's wheelman. Hey, he was the pilot in Black Hawk Down. Oh, but that crashed.



SNOW JOB: Zach Galifianakis (Tru Calling, 'Dog Bites Man'). Speaking of specialists who never get to go on missions! How many times are there fights in the snow?! Yet another bitter member of The Pit's peanut gallery.



QUICK KICK: John Cho (Better Luck Tomorrow, Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle). G.I. Joe went ninja-crazy at some point, but Quick Kick was the first. Ideally, he should be cracking some joke when Storm Shadow cuts his head off.



BAZOOKA: Dan Fogler (Balls of Fury, Fanboys). Bumbling idiot with a bazooka. Fogler's career launch is about to take place this year, so sign him up now while he's cheap!



WILD BILL: Alan Tudyk (Serenity, A Knight's Tale). Tudyk's turn as the pilot in 'Firefly' and Serenity earned him this one. Plus the red hair and being from Texas.

WILD BILL RECAST:



WILD BILL: Jeff Foxworthy (White Trash Trailer Incest Show something or other). HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Just look at the picture!

SUPPORT JOES:



STALKER: Michael Jai White (Spawn, Universal Soldier: The Return). He's got some fighting chops and a 'stache, so we're all good to go!



SPIRIT: Adam Beach (Windtalkers, Flags of Our Fathers). I'll admit it, there aren't a hell of a lot of Native American actors out there, so he kind of owns this one by default. He's good, though.



ROADBLOCK: Terry Crews (Starsky & Hutch, Harsh Times). Bald, funny AND bad-ass, Crews gets the job.



SHIPWRECK: Johnny Messner (Anacondas, Tears of the Sun). Messner's done his fair share of action flicks and his turn as a boat captain in Anacondas scores him this one. We replace the parrot with a monkey, though, because parrots are lame and monkeys are cool.



MUTT: Tom Sizemore (Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan). For the character that needs a muzzle, Tom's your man. Indeed. Indeed.



LADY JAYE: Michelle Monaghan (Mr. & Mrs. Smith, M: I III). Wow! We have 3 of the 6 chicks from the show in the cast! She's got some action chops under her belt, so I'm good.



DOC: Joe Morton (T2, Speed, Stealth). Morton's a real go-to guy as far as solid personality actors go. You always get 'Joe Morton' and Doc is 'Joe Morton'. So there you go.



GUNG HO: Gary Nickens (Bad Boys II, The Island). I don't even think this guys has lines in any movies, but he's awesome anyways. And scary.

CORE COBRA:



COBRA COMMANDER: Gary Oldman (Leon, Lost In Space). No stranger to spitting lunatic roles, Oldman owns Cobra Commander. Now it just makes us sad that he wears a mask and can't spit on Destro's head while ranting.

COBRA COMMANDER RECAST (Twice!):



COBRA COMMANDER: Steve Buscemi (Armageddon, Con Air). Ol' Steve was my FIRST choice for the Commander, as he fit that skinny whiner profile to a TEE. But I always felt the Commander should be a spitter, and Oldman seemed like top choice. Plus I wanted to villain to be more believable. Well, as much as he can be.



COBRA COMMANDER: Kevin J. O'Connor (The Mummy, Van Helsing). Whiner? You want a WHINER? NO ONE whines as good as Kevin. As Beni in The Mummy or Igor in Van Helsing. Kevin just has that grating built-in warble in his voice that seems perfectly suited.



DESTRO: Hugo Weaving (The Matrix, V For Vendetta). After seriously rocking the expressionless mask in 'V', his precise, well spoken and subtly threatening manner makes him the perfect straight man to Cobra Commander's mad schemes.



STORM SHADOW: Jet Li (Hero, Unleashed). Master martial artist & swordsman, Jet Li vs. Ray Park is the kind of insane action the audience is really paying to see for this one. Storm Shadow vs. Snake Eyes. It's what we want. Give it.



THE BARONESS: Rhona Mitra ('Nip/Tuck', Shooter). H-O-T-T. She's done some schlocky action (Beowolf), some hotness in Nip/Tuck AND stars in Shooter (I noticed after casting her) which Bonaventura (producer of G.I. Joe) also produced, so there's a good chance of her being someone in it.



SERPENTOR: Ralph Fiennes (Schindler's List, Harry Potter flix). As a charismatic nasty bastard, he fits the bill. This was sent in by SEVERAL people, so everyone was on the same page with this.

SUPPORT COBRA:



MAJOR BLUDD: Rufus Sewell (A Knight's Tale, Legend of Zorro). Rufus is one of the smarmiest villains there is, and would suit Bludd's whiny nature as well. Good for you, Rufus.



DR. MINDBENDER: Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator, 'The 4400'). Oh, please. Mad-scientist? IS there anyone else?



FIREFLY: Marton Csokas (LOTR, Bourne Supremecy, Aeon Flux). Marton has been making his way through every genre-based-on-existing-property film he can get work in, so who better to play everyone's favorite saboteur?



TOMAX & XAMOT: Karl Urban (Doom, Chronicles of Riddick). Good ol' Karl's been nothing but a solid staple as 2nd-tier baddie in a lot of films. Plus it's simple enough these days to have him play twins from a technological standpoint. Eddie Murphy does it every time he leaves the house.



SCRAP IRON: Robert Patrick (T2, Die Hard 2). Back in the day, Patrick was awesome as a thug. He should do that more instead of trying to be the main baddie (cough, The Marine, cough), I think he'd be appreciated more. By me anyway.

DREADNOKS:



ZARTAN: Sean Bean (GoldenEye, LOTR). Need a creepy, yet not quite efficient villain-for-hire? Sean Bean's your man!



BUZZER: David Wenham (Van Helsing, 300). Being a lackey's what Wenham does BEST! Give this man a job!



TORCH: Tony Curran (LXG, Blade II, Underworld: Evolution). Oh, Tony. You'll do this. You get to BURN things instead of having to bite/claw your way through. Eeeeeeveryone likes to buuuuuurn things.



RIPPER: Vinnie Jones (X3, Swordfish). Need something smashed, or in this case, ripped? Vinnie'll do it!

And as a special joke for everyone!

COBRA LA-LA-LA-LAME-OS!!!

Here's your 'treat'! For ass-hats galore, we shell out some extra cash for the Straight-To-DVD-Sequel, directed by the glorious Uwe Boll, and starring some of Hollywood's greatest stars!



GOLOBULUS: Kevin Costner (3000 Miles to Graceland, The Postman). Oh, yeah! 'Glorious Leader' should be the leader of crap! Woo-Hoo!



PYTHONA: Sharon Stone (Basic Instinct 2, Catwoman). Hey Sharon! Next time you pose like this, make sure there's a loaded gun in your hand.



NEMESIS ENFORCER: Steven Seagal (Today You Die, Mercenary For Justice). Yes, those are 2 titles from his 4-year 14 straight-to-DVD action releases. Let this be yet another glorious notch on his belt.

And that was my week of G.I. Joe casting. All done. Ugh. Though if this bad idea DOES come to fruition, I will paste mine against the actual casting as it goes along.

YO JOE!

HO-LEE #@(#^@^&#$*@&#%$&*^@&^%!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN!

Souvenirs of Death

X-Box LIVE!

X-Box LIVE!, originally uploaded by macslost.

Sounds like a musical!

But it's not, thank god.

I am all hooked up and ready to go! I almost cried when the voice chat wouldn't work and I had to call X-Box support. They told me there was a firewall port issue and I had to call Netgear. Which led to a nice fellow in India who "approved it with his supervisor" to help me out for free AND he fixed my video iChat problem that has been making me cry for months! WHOOOOOOOO!!!

So now I've been getting my ass kicked mercilessly on some bridge in Battlefield 2. I swear to god, each time I play I die faster and faster. last night I just started shooting my own men out of boredom from getting my ass kicked so badly.

ANYWAY! Gamertag: macslost

And now I have to try and juggle my work-time vs. play-time. Which will inevitably be rough.

Look, Ma! No Pictures!

Well that's a first for me, folks. I use and abuse my Flickr account for every post I've ever done. And, well, it seems unnecessary sometimes. OK, most time. Usually I do it for my own amusement (which is what the whole point it anyway) but I feel like maybe I could start NOT having some sort of entertainment post all the damn time.

So...uh...how about that weather?

No, seriously, I was walking Frick & Frack (Captain Awesome & Miss Moneypenny for the uninitiated) and it is DAMN nice outside and it has that Spring smell. See, doing the damn G.I. Joe casting reminded me of how much making battle scenes was all I wanted to be doing outside back when I was little. And the weather today made me want to hook up a Slip 'n' Slide and eat bologna sandwiches on white bread and potato chips. Best if the chips are IN the sandwich.

See, now I'm thinking about Googling a picture of a sandwich and potato chips...

Dammit. I'm weak.



And now I'm obligated to put in the Slip 'n' Slide...



Ugh! No will power. Just none.

OK, I gotta go buy an X-Box 360 and pick up the new Buffy comic now..

No! I will NOT Google an X-Box picture!

No!

Stop it!

Compromise! I can post one when I get it and that's a whole new post.

OK. Cool. We're good.

The new season begins...today!

The new season begins...today!, originally uploaded by macslost.

For those Buffy the Vampire Slayers out there (and I know there's a bunch of you) "Season 8" begins today down at your local comic shop. Joss Whedon and various other show writers have started a larger scale continuation of the show in print format.

So, Buffy Season 8, Episode 1 is on store shelves now.

Remakes, Re-Imaginings, Retardation

Three news bits today. In order of interest:

HORTON HEARS A WHO



I loved the book growing up and the cartoon that was made of it. They have a GREAT voice cast for this one as well. Jim Carrey, Steve Carrell, Carol Burnett, Seth Rogen, Will Arnett, Isla Fisher, Dan Fogler, Amy Poehler, Dane Cook, Jaime Pressly and Jonah Hill are all taking part in this one. AND it's CGI, as opposed to Carrey in an Elephant suit, thank god. I look forward to this one.


TIN MAN



The Sci-Fi Channel, lauded for mini-series and chastised for movies, is re-imagining The World Of Oz book in a series called Tin Man. So far, the cast is Zooey Deschanel (who is awesome in anything) as Dorothy, Alan Cumming (ditto) as 'Glitch' and Richard Dreyfuss as the Wizard (or 'Mystic Man' in this case). Here's more on the story. I'm definitely interested in seeing this and it's about time the Oz books started catching up to Alice In Wonderland in terms and how many times you can remake it and it still be fun to watch. NO, 'The Wiz' doesn't count. It's not watchable.


ESCAPE FROM NY (remake?!)



This is the retarded one in case you couldn't guess. Looks like Gerard Butler (who I enjoy immensely and rocked '300') is lined up to take over the role of Snake Plissken. This? Is stupid. There's nothing WRONG with the original. This is like remaking The Hitcher. Which was perfect in it's original incarnation. The movie isn't old enough. Give it a good 30-40 years at least before a remake for Chrissake. And what's wrong with m'main man Kurt? He still has a good 20 years worth of Plissken in him. He's in the new Tarantino movie, dammit, he can do more Plissken!

Sigh. The real problem is that I'll watch all the casting, get excited, wait for the trailer, get more excited and see it opening weekend. It's a weakness. Ah well.

Tintin and the...

Tintin and the..., originally uploaded by macslost.

What will the first movie BE?!

So this I think has been in the works for a really long time, but Steven Spielberg has been working with Herge's estate to make a live action Tintin movie.

I grew up on Tintin & Asterix comics, which were basically Europe's mainstream comic books for years. Great, great stuff. And the 2 live action Asterix flicks (with Gerard Depardieu as Obelix!) are actually pretty damn funny and stick to the books really well. Unfortunately you have to get them off of eBay, since they aren't available in the U.S.

Personally, I am hoping for one of the 2-part stories. Either Seven Crystal Balls/Prisoners of the Sun or Secret of the Unicorn/Red Rackham's Treasure. Those or Flight 714, which is pretty awesome as well.

Damn they were good.

Who would they cast for this?! Oooh. I'll need to think on that.

But first I'll do the G.I. Joe casting.

Watchmen sneak!!!!

Watchman sneak!!!!, originally uploaded by macslost.

Lookie-Lookie!!! Zack Snyder snuck in a test photo of Rorschach from WATCHMEN in the R-Rated '300' trailer!


Wooooooooo!


Now for my 2 cents on '300': Kick. ASS. It's AWESOME. And probably the best audio I have ever heard in a film. Blew me away. So damn dope.