What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Blog, Blog, Blog! It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a Blog! You're gonna love it, Blog! Come on and get your Blog! Everyone needs a Blog!

Sunday, February 26, 2006

"You were always jealous of this lamp."

Originally uploaded by macslost.
Like most great character actors, you know and love them but pretty much have to check imdb to remember even a tenth of the films/shows they've been in. Darren McGavin was widely known for his role as Kolchak the Night Stalker (and had a CGI cameo in the pilot of the new/cancelled version), but to me and most of my generation he'll always be remembered as The Old Man. The Old Man who finally gave Ralphie his very own Red Rider BB gun. Which he used to shoot his eye out. Almost.

Knotts so funny...

Originally uploaded by macslost.
I never watched the Andy Griffith show, so as you can see, the image here is actually Barney Fife on Scooby Doo, which I did watch. Religiously. My first introduction to Don Knotts was actually from The Apple Dumpling Gang (back when Tim Conway wasn't Dorf) and of course Three's Company...after which I was pretty much a fan for life. Don Knotts is a man to be missed. (1924-2006)

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

It came from the kitchen

It came from the kitchen
Originally uploaded by macslost.
I'm not a fan of community food storage. I make an exception for dried goods and beer/Diet Coke, but beyond that, no food should be stored at work. For the sole reason that people who store food never retrieve it. Ever. Our kitchen smelled so bad today that one of my coworkers was compelled to write the following to the office. How he stood that smell long enough to take inventory I do NOT know...

To all,

Not to be a nazi about this, but there’s been a string of folks going into the kitchen and complaining about the fumes.

But no-one is taking responsibility for their food.

I’ve placed all the expired/moldy items on the counter. Come claim them if they are yours. Please.

Gaby & I like our offices, but we can’t/won’t police the kitchen. Unless it smells so bad that we have no choice but to toss everything, w/o consulting you.

Here’s a list of the expired/moldy food in there. Is it yours?

Knudson Low Fat cottage cheese
Expired 7/17/05 – now in low fat soup and green slime flavors!

Kraft yummy extra-real Mayo
Exp. 1/11/05

Ralph’s gross grape jelly
Exp. 4/19/05

Philadelphia Cream Cheese containers
Exp.12/26/05, 1/21/06, 2/9/06

Knudson death yogurt
Exp. 12/3/05

Handi Snack Packs
Exp. 2/7/06

Undated BBQ container
Undated white rice container

Cardini’s Asian Sesame dressing
Exp. 3/11/05 (it’s extra smooth!)

Fat Free Zesty Italian
Exp. Feb 05

Heinz 57 Ketchup
Exp. Jan 06

Alta Deena Cottage Cheese

Trader Joe’s Small Curd Cottage Cheese

Cherries In Plastic Bag with Major Mold Colony
See expiration date printed in the mold
(there was a Monterey Jack Cheese sticks bag on top of this – you may not want to eat those either)

Ziploc bag – Chicken w/obscure vegetable matter

One solo pear – undated

Plastic container – beans & beige food mass

Trader Joes’s Unholy Hummus
Expired 12/9/05

Trader Joes’ Colby Jack with major green mold colonies
It’s aged “extra moldy” for big appetites!

Trader Joe’s Columbus Pastrami
With mold ribbons for flavor

Thanks for your consideration.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The legend lives on...

The legend lives on...
Originally uploaded by macslost.
As anyone knows, when one of the Jedi dudes get wacked, they turn into ghosts and stuff, so they aren't REALLY dead, just wandering around. Well, it seems that when Darth Vader's not out battling Skeksis (presumably over who gets to personally kill the Gelflings, and Vader HATES creatures that cater to child demographics.), he likes to sneak into the bedrooms of sleeping women and take a few swings at them. Everyone needs a hobby.

Friday, February 10, 2006

New X3 cameo!!

New X3 cameo!!
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Looks like Destro will be in the new X3 flick!! Wait, no, I think that's supposed to be Colossus. But, I can see the eyes and skin in his mask. And, um, is that RUBBER? Crap. This is gonna blow like Batman & Robin, isn't it...

Thursday, February 09, 2006

My New Title

I never really talk about my work on here. Mostly because nothing too exciting happens (at least for me) and there's really not enough drama to even write a rant about. But today something amusing occured. See, where I work I contract as a publicist, so I'm not an actual employee. So there's no title, no business cards, no nothing. Which also means no lame ass training seminars, ethics classes or other stupid wastes of time that corporate jobs seem to provide. But today something interesting happened. One of my coworkers opened up my profile in the Global Outlook mail system and it turns out I DO have a title!! They just never told me. Apparently I am officially an Area Mechanic Woodworker. So I guess I'd better get cracking on those shelf installations before I get fired. I KNEW I should have asked for a job description...

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Move over, Chuck.

Move over, Chuck.
Originally uploaded by macslost.
You can bet Jack Bauer's not gonna write some pansy note pushing his inner-child molesting book on HIS fans. Most likely he'll just push a knife into their eye until until they buy it. That's if he was pussy enough to write one in the first place. But I digress:

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed Sutherland. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's ****ing beef.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer ****ing hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden's recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl...by himself.

Finding Nemo would have been vastly more exciting had Jack Bauer been looking for him.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

There are no such thing as lesbians, just women who never met Jack Bauer.

Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better ****ing do it.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Your attraction to Jack Bauer in no way affects your sexual orientation.

Jack Bauer's favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

When President Palmer quit to start doing Allstate commercials, it took him 43 takes before he could stop saying, "You're in good hands with Jack Bauer".

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he's done it twice.

In 96 hours, Jack Bauer has killed 93 people and saved the world 4 times. What the **** have you done with your life?

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

I couldn't have said it better!

Originally uploaded by macslost.
I had to use an online translator, but this was pretty damn funny! (i heard he got his head cut off in some Star Wars book, though, so i think it's a fake). Still, much appreciated, Jimmy!

Tuesday, February 07, 2006


Originally uploaded by macslost.
I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and watch this now. That would be great. Yeaahhhh...

Saturday, February 04, 2006


Originally uploaded by macslost.
Not ALL vampires are bad. Some will be missed.

Friday, February 03, 2006

You had it coming.

You had it coming.
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Don't touch me, you drink. Do not touch me you giant beverage. You are sweating, or condensating. I will kick you in the tights, and you will go down. You're very top heavy. You glass bitch... You glass bastard. "Oh yeah!" OH NO. Naughty, naughty kool-aid. "Oh Yeah?" No! No... "Oh yeah?" No... no.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Me vs. The Sun

sun kill
Originally uploaded by macslost.
In my 31 years the sun and I have never really been on good terms. In fact, most of time Mr. Sun has been a damned nuisance. Blinding me, making me sweat, drawing out all of society's cattle onto the beaches and roadways and basically making me miserable. So it's been a battle to the death and I think I've lost. Recently I find myself becoming more and more perturbed at the dark and the cold. Have I already acclimated to LA's most powerful lure? (OK, second most powerful lure) What now? Do I cry and drive like an idiot when it rains? Do I start to grow a nice leather hide all over my body? I guess, as a creature of habit, what I really want to know is "Will this hurt?"

Red Lego

Red Lego
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Today's lesson is that Lego's can be dangerous. Harmful if Swallowed. Harmful if Shoved in Your Eye. The point is, Lego's are not toys. Well, OK, they are, but the point is that you could just as easily be killed by Lego's than by, say, Mr. Potato Head. My point being, is THIS. You've been warned. (note to self: why the hell did I never think of this?!)


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

It Came From Hoth..wait..

It Came From Hoth..wait..
Originally uploaded by macslost.
It Came From 2003 UB313? Apparently there's a huge ice planet floating out around Pluto that no one likes to talk about. Probably because of the damn Wampa infestation.

Tell me lies, sweet little ones...

Can this be TRUE??? I can only dream.

"Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is in talks to reprise Clint Eastwood’s role in comedy Every Which Way But Loose. In the 1978 original, Eastwood played a fist-fighting drifter who befriends an orangutan he wins in a bet."

Hopefully it'll come out the same time Transformers does.

Is it true? True and for real?

Apparently so. According to Variety (or AICN, since Variety costs, like MONEY), Genndy Tartakovsky (which I had to spell-check a few times), creator of the amazing Star Wars Clone Wars animated series has been tapped to do a sequel. Aughra is happy, yes! Happy like Gelfling! YOU Gelfling? mmMMMM?

The 78th Academy Awards.

The 78th Academy Awards.
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Can't wait. Noms are out, it's pretty decent stuff, I must say. Mostly I await Funch and mocking. Lots of mocking. Jon Stewart will lead the charge!!!