What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Blog, Blog, Blog! It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a Blog! You're gonna love it, Blog! Come on and get your Blog! Everyone needs a Blog!

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Get YOUR Free Miracle Spring Water!

You TOO can be an asshole. So, I wake up this morning, snap on the TV to watch '24' in TiVo and there's this Peter Popoff dick selling magic God water. Apparently if you drink it, you'll either be cured of cancer or get $5,000 unexpectedly. Seriously. I'm going to start up my own religion and sell balloons filled with the "Holy Spirit" or "Helium". America is dumb. I'm afraid I may not ever be able to leave L.A. Ever.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Scientists are S-T-U-P-I-D


Scientists are S-T-U-P-I-D
Originally uploaded by macslost.
So in Mexico, scientists have discovered hundreds of miles of underground water ways attached to hundreds of sinkholes throughout the jungles. They've found new aquatic lifeforms and the water down there is so clear that it seems like they are floating in space. Some parts of the underground rivers are only a few feet deep and they've also found an abyss that's deeper than 500 feet. They also think that some of these creatures they have found may have cancer-curing abilities.

Stop.

I'll be the first to admit that I watch way too many movies. Especially horror movies. Because of this, I have an unhealthy fear of water I can't see in and only prefer to be in the ocean if there's a meat shield (i.e. a group of people further out than me). But SERIOUSLY, people. I saw "The Cave" and the superior version of undergound dwellers "The Decent" and I also saw "Deep Blue Sea", where scientists find the cure for Alzheimer's in the brain of giant mutant sharks. So let me just say this:

IT WILL ALL END BADLY.

Here's a little tip. When the Mayan lore in regards to these sinkholes has them SACRIFICING their people to a CROCODILE-LIKE GOD IN THE SINKHOLE, then maybe, just MAYBE, there a GIANT MAN-EATING MONSTER IN THE F*$&@ HOLE. Come ON, people. You KNOW how it goes. "Oh, hey, where'd Jenny go?" "I don't know, I'll go look for her." "What's this slime dripping on my shoulder?" "AAAIIIEEERRGGHHH!!!!!" "Oh no! I lost my flashlight." "Dave? AAAAIIIIIRRGGGH!!!!", next thing you know, someone's up to their neck in a pool of blood and fighting to destroy the creature(s) with a flare and a half-empty tank of oxygen. Or maybe a pick-axe.

Either way, this won't end well and it will all be covered up by the pharmaceutical company that is financing this little expedition "off the books". Trust me on this.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSweet!


SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSweet!
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Here is a movie logo I would proudly tattoo on my body. Twice. I was already squirming in my seat to see this! Samuel L. Jackson! Fighting SNAKES! On a PLANE. Like ANACONDA on a plane! I LOVED Anaconda!! And this is how excited I was when it was PG-13. But NOW?! NEW LINE HAS APPROVED A RESHOOT TO MAKE IT RATED R!!!!! NOWIT'SLIKE .. LIKE .. THEBESTSUMMEREVERANDI ..I.. ARM ... GOing ... numb ... aahg ...

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Can You Dig It?


Can You Dig It?
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Apparently, Mr. Isaac Hayes can dish it, but can't take it. Scientology sure makes 'em hard, don't they? Douche-bags.

Friday, March 10, 2006

Big-Bang Yo-Yo Theory?


Big-Bang Yo-Yo Theory?
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Is the universe slowly reversing itself? Or did Superman rewind some of our time? Or MAYBE, with all the new disease and pollution we have, sturdier species are resurfacing ("Pussies! It's just germs! WE got hit by a @&$#^%$@ asteroid!)? Or MAYBE scientists are mucking with fossilized DNA a-la-Jurassic Park? Though it seems they learned a lesson from dear old Michael Crichton and decided to bring back cute little fuzzy things instead of Velociraptors. (Who does that anyway? "Hey, we found a way to reproduce old stuff. Let's make some nasty things that can easily kill us." "Good idea! I have some T-Rex DNA over here...") ANYWAY, looks like those wiley Laotians have either discovered or recreated the Rat-Squirrel after an 11 million year extiction period. Or were those squirrely bastards just hibernating? If so, what ELSE is just sleeping soundly in a cave somewhere, only to awaken and destroy mankind in it's flesh-rending maw?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

I EXIST!


I EXIST!
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Let me explain.

Since I work as an online press publicist, I have to know who's legitimately large/viable/of any value to me and those that SAY they have a million users when they really have about 100. Alexa helps me with that. It's kind of a lie-detector when it comes to how much traffic any given website gets. I say lie-detector because it's about as accurate as one. Traffic flucuates depending on what's posted, so any site can change drastically with some great content or go stale with nothing new. Most that I work with range from 1 (Yahoo) to around 100,000 (News Askew) or thereabouts. When I get requests from new press, I tend to peek into Alexa to see how big they are so I can decide to help them out or kick them to another person to handle. Most below 250,000 I kick back or service on an infrequent request basis. And when "No Data" shows up, then too bad. Basically, you don't rate. So no goodies for you.

There's a point to this! As of this morning, WWW.MACSLOST.COM made the cut! I'm ranked at 5,204,309! Which basically means I might mostly ignore me, but at least I'm REAL!!! Woo-HOOOOO!!!!!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Wheeze! Wheeze!



Originally uploaded by macslost.
No..more..bad...acting...

OK, so I've been sick for about 3 days now. Crap-like sick, too. Muscle pains, clogged ears, sore throat, chills, etc. And the only cure for sick is bad movies. The only problem with bad movies, though, is that they are, in fact, bad. There's amusement to be had for Day 1, and some of Day 2, but then you start to lose momentum, and you end up watching 5 movies in a row, only watching the first 10 minutes before you decide it's just TOO bad. I mean, I'm down to stuff like The Rookie with Charlie Sheen and Passenger 57 with Wesley Snipes. High-waist pants, curly mullets, feathered hair and Bufferin/Arsenio Hall references run amok and I have to keep stopping them to watch something else.

I think I am feeling better, though, so I'll go back to work tomorrow. Anything is better than this.

OH GOD!!! It hurts! I forgot about the damned saxophones. The damn, dirty saxophones. my....god...

Success!!


Success!!
Originally uploaded by macslost.
We started throwing Oscar parties in Seattle about 5 years ago. Had 3 good years of growth before moving to LA, where our craphole in Hollywood wasn't suitable for hosting...anything. Now that we have the house, we decided to host a REAL one. And damn, if we didn't have about 50 people puttering around all night. It was a damn good time. Of course, now we have to find something bigger for next year. Might have to hire some actual celebrities to attend. I bet I could get Andrew McCarthy or Van Damme pretty cheap. They'll probably work for peanuts. M&M Peanuts, at least.

Friday, March 03, 2006

The new LOST?


The new LOST?
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Having been a fan of Michael J. Straz...Straczy...Mike The Pole's comic series RISING STARS, and then USA's semi-Shyamalan's 'Unbreakable' approach to it with THE 4400, I gotta say, this sounds pretty damn good to ME. Besides, Greg Grunberg rulz. And Ali Larter is hot. And that Jess dude from Gilmore Girls is alright...

TV Guide's Michael Ausiello has posted a great rundown of NBC's upcoming pilot Heroes, which he says might just be the next Lost! Dave Semel (American Dreams) will direct the pilot about ordinary people who discover they have superpowers. The show stars Greg Grunberg, Ali Larter and Milo Ventimiglia. Here's a clip:

Just as Lost isn't really a show about a haunted island, Heroes isn't a show about crusaders, caped or otherwise. It's about people — albeit ones with extraordinary quirks. "I kind of want to stay away from the superhero aspect," says Kring. "It's about very ordinary people all over the world who literally discover that they have special powers, and it's their dealing with that." The superheroes, er, ordinary people include a 30-year-old male nurse who believes he can fly — and, unlike R. Kelly, really can; a 28-year-old junkie who has the ability to paint images of the future; a 33-year-old Las Vegas showgirl who can do incredible things with mirrors; a 24-year-old Japanese comic-book geek who literally makes time stand still; a 31-year-old inmate who can transport himself through walls (eat your heart out, Michael Scofield); and a 17-year-old cheerleader who defies death at every turn (think of Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, only with blonde hair and big pom-poms)