Scientists are S-T-U-P-I-D

Scientists are S-T-U-P-I-D
Originally uploaded by macslost.

So in Mexico, scientists have discovered hundreds of miles of underground water ways attached to hundreds of sinkholes throughout the jungles. They've found new aquatic lifeforms and the water down there is so clear that it seems like they are floating in space. Some parts of the underground rivers are only a few feet deep and they've also found an abyss that's deeper than 500 feet. They also think that some of these creatures they have found may have cancer-curing abilities.

Stop.

I'll be the first to admit that I watch way too many movies. Especially horror movies. Because of this, I have an unhealthy fear of water I can't see in and only prefer to be in the ocean if there's a meat shield (i.e. a group of people further out than me). But SERIOUSLY, people. I saw "The Cave" and the superior version of undergound dwellers "The Decent" and I also saw "Deep Blue Sea", where scientists find the cure for Alzheimer's in the brain of giant mutant sharks. So let me just say this:

IT WILL ALL END BADLY.

Here's a little tip. When the Mayan lore in regards to these sinkholes has them SACRIFICING their people to a CROCODILE-LIKE GOD IN THE SINKHOLE, then maybe, just MAYBE, there a GIANT MAN-EATING MONSTER IN THE F*$&@ HOLE. Come ON, people. You KNOW how it goes. "Oh, hey, where'd Jenny go?" "I don't know, I'll go look for her." "What's this slime dripping on my shoulder?" "AAAIIIEEERRGGHHH!!!!!" "Oh no! I lost my flashlight." "Dave? AAAAIIIIIRRGGGH!!!!", next thing you know, someone's up to their neck in a pool of blood and fighting to destroy the creature(s) with a flare and a half-empty tank of oxygen. Or maybe a pick-axe.

Either way, this won't end well and it will all be covered up by the pharmaceutical company that is financing this little expedition "off the books". Trust me on this.