What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Blog, Blog, Blog! It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a Blog! You're gonna love it, Blog! Come on and get your Blog! Everyone needs a Blog!

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

No, no, thank YOU.

No, no, thank YOU.
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Hey! Lookee-lookee! Here are 2 flix coming up that totally make fun of stupid people without having to make a documentary about it! (Speaking of which, maybe *I* should make a documentary. It can be about morons in middle-management positions that think that other simply exist to bring them whatever they need on a moment's notice.) BUT I DIGRESS. Check these out. Thank You For Smoking and American Dreamz. DaFoe does a mean Dick Cheney.

Appointment made

Appointment made
Originally uploaded by macslost.
I haven't been to the dentist in....3 years. At least. Not that there's anything wrong with my teeth, but it's just one of those things that I should probably do. And I'm not scared of the dentist either. I once fell asleep in the chair while getting a root canal. 3 actually. The buzzing noise of the drill puts me to sleep like a car engine. I wonder how sorry I'll be this time. Ah well. George Washington had wooden teeth, so how bad can it be?


Originally uploaded by macslost.
After a year of talking about how Battlestar Galactica is better than Lost and one of the best written shows on TV next to Veronica Mars, I was finally able to prove it. Dinah consented to watch the mini series, after which I immediately put in episode 1 of the series, titled "33", as the ships must jump every 33 minutes or the Cylons will catch them. The episode starts on Day 3, after everyone has been awake for 3 days trying to escape. Harsh. Yes, it's that good. Needless to say, it took us 2 days but we got all caught up through last week's awesome episode. And she loved it. Like there was any doubt.

On a side note, 2 weeks ago TiVo & Adelphia were messing with me and I MISSED the 1st Battlestar episode of the new run! I was PISSED. So I called up my super-computer friends and asked about downloading the show from secret online servers and all that. I got 2 great answers. One actually WAS a detailed account on how to find shows on servers online. The second? Buy it from itunes. I can do that? Yes. Yes I can. $2. Sweet. And then I plugged my iBook into the widescreen TV and was actually able to watch it in 47" glory. Wow. Handy little thing, that.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006


Originally uploaded by macslost.
Yeeesssss....soon it will come...soon.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Way to blow it, Chuck

Way to blow it, Chuck
Originally uploaded by macslost.
You were cool. For one day at least. That is, until you posted THIS crap:


I'm aware of the made up declarations about me that have recently begun to appear on the Internet and in emails as "Chuck Norris facts." I've seen some of them. Some are funny. Some are pretty far out. Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. Who knows, maybe these made up one-liners will prompt young people to seek out the real facts as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?" They may even be interested enough to check out my novels set in the Old West, "The Justice Riders," released this month. I'm very proud of these literary efforts.
~ Chuck Norris

Friday, January 06, 2006

The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny

Originally uploaded by macslost.
A true gift for all. One that can never be repaid. Thank you Xjan. I owe you a kidney. Or a beer.

The wait is over...

The wait is over...
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Hell YES I am seeing this this weekend:

"I recommend it to people who think there aren't enough eyes being snipped out in films these days"

"When extreme, body-crunching violence is inflicted on these pigs, the
playing field gets leveled."

"If you're fascinated with butcher work and chopped up corpses, this is the movie for you."

"Eli Roth has made the sickest movie to ever be called enjoyable."

"A gory, bloody, disgusting good time."

"This is a grim, gory, and unapologetically grungy piece of "survival
horror." I dug it."

"Slide in, belt up, and hang on: Hostel is the horror movie equivalent of
Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!"

"Roth has lost none of his gift for oozing anatomy now that he has earned the producing imprimatur of Quentin Tarantino, who seems to be positioning himself as the Roger Corman of the next generation of cine-sadists."

The Bitch is Back

The Bitch is Back
Originally uploaded by macslost.
Tonight. 10pm. Only on Sci-Fi.

Because Knowing Is Half The Battle

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

Chuck Norris uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.

Chuck Norris once lined up to kick the winning field goal of a high school football game. When the football went flat, he persuaded the referees to let him kick the field goal with a 3 month old child. Chuck roundhoused kicked the baby 60 yards through the uprights and then proceeded to bang every girl
in the stadium.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger; it is actually a list of people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked in the face that day.

If you unscramble the letters in "Chuck Norris" you get "Huck corn, sir."
That is why every fall, Chuck travels to Nebraska and burns the entire state down.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

Chuck Norris does not have AIDS but he gives it to people anyway.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took
his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage.
We know this beverage as Red Bull.

Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling,"Bang!"

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
His reasoning? It was more "humane".

Chuck Norris often asks people to pull his finger. When they do, he roundhouses them in the abdomen. Then he farts.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure as hell take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity." then you are dead wrong.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

2006 - Best Year Ever?

2006 - Best Year Ever?
Originally uploaded by macslost.
So far so good. X-Mas swag was at an all-time high, both in quality and quantity. No drama in family or travel plans. More on that later. JON STEWART IS HOSTING THE 2006 ACADEMY AWARDS. And yes, there will be an old-school mAc & Dinah Academy Awards party this year. Cash & Prizes, Prizes, Prizizes.