I'm burning my passport

I swear to God, the more movies I watch, the less I want to travel. My buddy Alf and I just saw Blood Diamond today. Or it's full title, Blood Diamond: Africa Sucks. I don't think 10 minutes went by in the film without a kid murdering people or someone getting their hands chopped off or shot in the face. So add Africa to the no-travel list.

A few weeks ago Alf and I also saw Apocalypto, another grueling action-epic just packed with random acts of violence every 3-4 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed Apocalypto immensely (in the same way I enjoy things like Die Hard, Payback, etc.) The point being, this movie (I know, I know, it's set in the PAST) but coupled with Anaconda and City of God (and the now playing or gone Turistas) I went ahead and added South America to the list as well.

The downside to Diamond though is that there a lame-ass "where did THAT come from" romance between Leo and Jennifer Connolly. It's just bad. I think there's 30 minutes of love story on the cutting room floor, because it makes no sense. That and the 30-minute ending. Ugh! We get it. Diamonds are bad. And so is Africa. I mean DAMN. I think it's time for The Gods Must Be Crazy 3.

Anyway, my point being is that I've gone ahead and added Africa to my list of places I don't wanna go to. Which includes South America, the Middle East, most of Eastern Europe, a good chunk of Asia, the middle of America and Skull "Shithole" Island. Frankly, I don't want to get eaten (dead or alive), dismembered, imprisoned, tortured or shot. Think what you want of me, but I think I'll stick to 1st world travel, thank you very much.