What rolls down stairs alone or in pairs, Rolls over your neighbor's dog? What's great for a snack and fits on your back? It's Blog, Blog, Blog! It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood. It's Blo-og, Blo-og, it's better than bad, it's good! Everyone wants a Blog! You're gonna love it, Blog! Come on and get your Blog! Everyone needs a Blog!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Shoe Envy

Originally uploaded by macslost.
If you knew me 8 years ago, you knew I was somewhat content in my cargo pants and crappy high top sneakers and a sweatshirt. Why? Cuz shoes sucked, jeans sucked, most clothing sucked. Even TV sucked and music pretty much blew at the time as well. And so did a lot of the movies. The mid-nineties BLEW. And at some point during that time, a company called Northwave, that made snowboard boots, ran a line of sneakers that kicked ass. At a closing out sale, I bought 6 pairs. Almost 10 years ago.

As my shoes slowly died, I would look for replacements, almost desperately. Years went by with nothing that wasn't giant athletic shoes or hiking boots. Gradually, as the mid 00's approached, I would come across a cool pair of sneakers or Sketchers from time to time and would snatch them up, much like a survivor of the Great Depression snatches up fruit and toilet paper. I may never see these things again.

Times have changed and now I probably own as many shoes as Dinah, if not a few more. But my desperation for shoes hasn't stopped. Am I stockpiling for the famine ahead? Maybe.

But folks, I came to tell a story of woe and jealousy.

A month ago, Dinah found an AMAZING pair of sneakers at Nordstrom. I asked if they carried men's shoes of the same brand and ran over the the "Men's" section.

Dear Nordstrom: Your "Men's" section? SUCKS BALLS. Seriously. You have like 2 pairs of crappy shoes per brand where the women have 800. WHY BOTHER?! Eliminate the men's section and make a bar with video games or pay TV while we wait! Don't hope we buy a mismatched pair of shoes and last year's blazer because we're BORED. Seriously. Men don't go to Nordstrom's to shop. They go there a) because the wife/girlfriend drags them, b) they are wealthy drag queens looking for the latest old-lady sailor costume (you know what i am talking about) or c) they think they are metro-sexual and want a job there for the discounts.


Anyway. I have been green with envy over Dinah's awesome green shoes for a month, but now I have my own. And mine? They have COBRAS on them, beyotch. Hells, yes.


Post a Comment

<< Home