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Thursday, January 04, 2007


I'll admit it, I read a lot of reviews on movies before I see them. Not to spoil them per se, since I usually only read the first and last few lines to get the gist of it. I like to call it managing my expectations. If you know me, you know I tend to get more psyched the further out a film is, so by the time it opens, the thrill is dampened and replaced by the urge to see something coming out a year from now (speaking of which I can't WAIT for the I Am Legend and 30 Days of Night flicks...coming out next Fall...)

But I digress. The best way I handle my expectations is to use Rotten Tomatoes, where they compile anywhere from 60-120 reviews nationwide, from TV to magazines to internet outlets. They simply grab a quick blurb that summarizes the review and give it a positive or negative skew and average them out. So in all honesty, it's the most accurate review of a movie since no one shares exact movie tastes to follow one critic or outlet.

ANYWAY, point being, you see all of the lame-ass quotes from journalists all year long and eFilmCritic.com actually keeps track of them all for their quote Whore of the Year awards. It's a fantastic read, but I am going to go ahead and post the 25 worst of the year and you can check it out for the actual awards. None of these people made the list, it's just the WORST quote.


These quotes represent the dumbest of all the dumb things said or printed for the world of film in 2006.

25. “This is an event. It’s a rare example of a film not just living up to the hype, but surpassing it. And it’s the best time you’ll have at the movies all summer, if not all year.” (Snakes on a Plane) – Christy Lemire, Associated Press

24. “Adorable owls, triumphant kids, and inviting Florida groves.” (Hoot) – Desson Thomson, Washington Post

23. “…so romantic and full of optimism that it makes me think there’s hope for us all.” (The Holiday) – Rex Reed

22. “...will get stuck in your hearts and minds!” (Stick It) – Manny the Movie Guy, NBC-TV/Palm Springs

21. “A movie treat for kids, mom, pop, brothers, sisters, uncles and, of course, aunts...” (The Ant Bully) - Gene Shalit

20. “The Gone with the Wind of rock comedies.” (Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny) – Jonathan Takiff, Philadelphia Daily News

19. A downright sweet love letter to Latino skate kids. (Wassup Rockers) – Dennis Lim, The Village Voice

18. “…made me wish I were 13 again, because this is precisely the kind of movie I would have gone nuts for.” (She’s the Man) – Wesley Morris, The Boston Globe

16 (tie). “Thoroughly engaging. Funnier than Mean Girls.” (John Tucker Must Die) – New York Post
16 (tie). “Lindsay Lohan’s funniest comedy since Freaky Friday!” (Just My Luck) – National Enquirer

14 (tie). “A movie worth celebrating. Moms, take your daughters too. You’ll both love it!” (Just My Luck) – Joel Siegel, Good Morning America
14 (tie). “The perfect comedy for moms and daughters!” (Material Girls) – Ed Carpenter, The Dove Foundation

13. “Columbo but hotter. Way, way hotter.” (Shock to the System) – Out Magazine

11 (tie). “Move over Harry Potter, watch out Narnia, there’s a new guy in town and his name is Eragon.” (Eragon) – David Moss, WJW-TV, Cleveland
11 (tie). “Look out 007, Alex Rider is in town!” (Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker) – Kevin Steincross, Fox-TV (St. Louis)

10. “A celebration of the strength it takes to be different. Halle Berry steals the show with a sensational performance.” (X-Men: The Last Stand) – David Sheehan

9. “It’s a nail-biter we’ve never seen before.” (Déjà vu) – Thelma Adams, US Weekly

8. “Already a leading contender for the year’s best animated film.” (The Wild) – Jim Svejda

7. “The best comedy since I don’t know when! One of the best American films in months” (Failure To Launch) – Stephen Hunter, The Washington Post

6. “The best superhero film since Spider-Man!” (My Super Ex-Girlfriend) – Scott Bowles, USA Today

4 (tie). “A true story you’d never expect…” (World Trade Center) - Newsweek
4 (tie). “Unmissable.” (United 93) – Richard Corliss, Time Magazine

3. “…a fascinating Cain-and-Abel tragedy that foreshadows today’s jihads and crusades.” (Beowulf & Grendel) – Queen Ann News

2. “Guillermo del Toro is the Hellboy of choice.” (Pan’s Labyrinth) – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone

1. “If you liked March of the Penguins, you’ll love An Inconvenient Truth.” – Eleanor Clift, Newsweek.com

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