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Wednesday, January 31, 2007

The 'Best' of 2006: Part 2

In the midst of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and Superman Returns, Fox Searchlight dropped this little gem out as counter-programming. I'm an unabashed Steve Carrell fan, plus the addition of Greg Kinnear (who's had one of the best comeback careers ever) and Toni Collette and Alan Arkin, it seemed like a sure thing. And it WAS. I laughed my ass off from beginning to end, but I think the best thing about it was the constant anticipation to what, exactly, the performance was going to be, as you only got hints of it, much like Napoleon Dynamite's end performance. While it isn't as awesomely choreographed as that, it does hold up and I was on the floor by the end.

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God bless eBay. I read about this movie a year and a half ago. I was already a big fan of Neil Marshall after he directed the awesome Dog Soldiers, about a group of National Guardsman (UK version) being hunted by werewolves while on maneuvers. Neil does a GREAT job of the pick-em-off-one-by-one horror genre. Personally, I think the 'Ten Little Indian" plot device is probably my favorite of the action/horror genre because it usually means fun death scenes. But I digress. I bought this DVD a year ago on eBay and watched it by myself in the dark and it stressed me the hell out! Creepy-ass Golum things hanging out underground and slaughtering (& eating) 6 adventure-chicks. Which I appreciated, because there was no real clue as to who would die or not since they were all very capable people. Plus the actual characters and the inter-personal relationships were really done well. Plus a giant pool of blood and lots of bones and slaughtery-death-stuff, which was paramount.


I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger."

"Dear little baby Jesus, who's sittin' in his crib watchin the Baby Einstein videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin' me and my moma together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers. "

"I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin' lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I'm in the front row and I'm hammered drunk! "

"Dear Lord baby Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, jesuz, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to say thank you for my family. My two beautiful, beautiful, handsome striking sons, Walker, and Texas Ranger, or TR as we call him. And of course my red hot smokin' wife Carley, who is a stone cold fox."

"Dear 8 pounds 6 ounces baby Jesus, new born, not even spoken a word yet. "

Jesus was a man! He had a beard!"

"I like to think of Jesus as an Ice Dancer, dressed in an all-white jumpsuit, and doing an interpretive dance of my life."

"I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo T-Shirt because it says I want to be formal, but I'm here to party. "


(SIGH) This is what I hate about Wal-Merica. If they 'don't get it', it doesn't get released. This movie was latest installment from Mike Judge and has been sitting around for about 2-3 years before being unceremoniously dumped in about 10 theaters across the country. Shaaaaaaame. This movie is HILARIOUS. The basic premise aside, what made it completely sad and yet plausible was the opening segment where two couples are portrayed. The first, a smart and successful couple on an intense career track decide to wait to have children or not have any at all while the second, basically middle-American retards, have 20 retard kids. Then those kids have 20 retard kids and so on and so on. Cut to 1000 years later and the world is 'run' by retards. Hilarity ensues.

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I love Ben Affleck. Always have. Yeah, I saw Gigli, and I didn't quite get why it got destroyed so badly, aside from the over-publicized J-Ben thing or whatever. I mean, it wasn't a good movie, but I've seen far, far, far worse from everyone in the film. But I digress! After a nice break, Ben returns with the the story behind the mysterious death of George Reeves, who played Superman in the classic television series. And no, George Reeves is no relation to Christopher Reeve (no 's' on the end. just on the chest. ha!). Anyway, what made it really interesting to watch was Ben's character rise to fame and then fall from glory, an arc I'm sure he could draw from personally. ( kind of like Courtney Love's acting in People Vs. Larry Flynt. wha? she can act? like a junkie, yeah, she's had experience.) Plus, a great supporting cast with Diane lane, Adrian Brody and Bob Hoskins.


Ah, remakes of Asian films. Though unlike the rest of the horror-remakes, we get a clever crime drama. With an insane cast, directed by Scorsese. Alec Baldwin steals every scene he's in, but barely. This is a great movie, from beginning to end, just as the original was. (Infernal Affairs is the original title). The only thing that sucked about this movie is that it has the WORST MOVIE POSTER EVER. I can't imagine anything lazier than that. I mean REALLY.


May favorite part in the movie was when Leo's character realizes that Matt Damon is the mole. Because a split second after he makes that face, what I imagined popping in his head was "Oh, shit. We're in a Scorsese movie. We're all going to die."

Part 3! Coming up!

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